Metro to Mountain Journal

We haven't completed a story in awhile. Thanksgiving Turkey is fun story, but remember, I am a vegetarian. : - )

Way back in the rugged hills of east Tennessee, lived a peaceful flock of turkeys. The gobblers spent their days foraging for food and no one seemed to bother them. Old Tom, the head turkey, was proud he was able to keep the flock safe from all harms at least for most of the year, but the troublesome season was fast approaching.

Old Tom knew that after the first frost lay on the pumpkins, the wild turkeys would once again be hunted targets. The hunters felt that it was a tradition to hunt wild turkey for Thanksgiving. Old Tom and his flock would beg to differ. Just last year, one of Old Tom's grandchildren, Terrance, was involved in a hunt. At the last minute, Terrance ducked behind a tree and avoided injury, as he gobbled with disrespect.

Old Tom strutted back and forth he needed to think of ways to protect the flock. He asked for suggestions from the others, held councils with key turkeys, and finally assembled an all flock meeting. Fall was quickly approaching. They must do something or someone could get hurt.

With all the birds congregated under one big oak tree, Old Tom presented the problem to the flock. Of course all the turkeys knew what the problem was, but Old Tom liked to remind them anyway. 'The hunters claim they have the right to hunt the wild turkeys because they are merely following in the tradition of the Pilgrims. However, the hunters no longer wear buckle boots, pilgrim hats, or use muskets as the Pilgrims did. Instead, they use modern weapons and make silly obnoxious noises trying to trick us into thinking the noise is coming from a visiting turkey. Don't they know what they smell like? We know that it is humans making the noises.'

Tom then asked the flock for suggestions on how to thwart the coming hunts ...

Theodore began the think session. He suggested making signs and putting them around the forest. The signs would say 'eat more beef, beef is the true Thanksgiving meat.'

Tom pondered the idea, but then thought the hunters wouldn't follow the signs advertising hints.

Terrance, one of the younger males, thought they should all fly to Miami Beach for the winter. Surely, there would be no hunters on the beach.

Tom thought it over but decided Miami would be too hot of a climate for turkeys.

Timmy wondered if they could disguise themselves as chickens?

Tom agreed that they might be able to look like chickens, but who had ever heard of wild chickens? Chickens always lived in coops or pens. The hunters would know they were not chickens.

Moving the flock to Europe was Thelma's idea. Europeans did not celebrate Thanksgiving, certainly they would not hunt turkey.

True, Tom pondered, but thought the flock would have trouble adjusting to gobbling in foreign languages. He then added that they needed to find a way to live in their home state of Tennessee, the land of the free and the home of the brave turkey.

All the turkeys gobbled with agreement, but moments went by without a gobbled idea to be heard.

Then finally Teresa shyly raised her wing, she had an idea.

All listened to her plan. Old Tom then spoke up and claimed that the plan had merit, but It would take the action of many turkeys to make it work.

The counsel then began working on the plan, with Teresa.

Three volunteers would be needed for the dangerous scheme.

Titus, Tommy Boy, and Terrance weighed the risk and decided to give their service.

The planning continued and the operation was rehearsed over and over again. As the hunting season approached the turkeys finished their preparations. The flock was ready.

In the cool fall weather the turkeys readied the volunteers for their encounters with the hunters.

Scouts were sent to the outlying borders to watch for hunters approaching the flock.

Days passed but finally the scouts began gobbling their warnings of approaching hunters.

Instead of running away from the hunters, Titus, the scrawniest of the turkeys was sent out to meet the hunters. As he approached them, he made sure the hunters could plainly see him.

The hunters stopped, raised their guns, but then questioned pulling the trigger. Titus could hear them talking. The plan was working. Titus was really cold. Shivering uncontrollably, Titus gobbled at them in a sickly, pleading tone.

The hunters lowered their guns and pointed their fingers at Titus. After a brief discussion, they began backing away.

The hunters decided that Titus would not make a good fare for Thanksgiving dinner.

In fact the hunters were afraid of Titus. With his snood flapping wildly, Titus raced after the hunters. The hunters in turn quickened their pace. They were not sure what was wrong with the strange looking turkey, but they wanted nothing to do with him.

Shivering from the cold, Titus continued his pursuit on the ground. Titus could no longer fly, he had lost most of his feathers. As part of the scheme, Titus was made to look sickly. The flock plucked the feathers from poor Titus. He was left with three feathers, each pointing in a different direction. With only three feathers, he could not fly, but he could still run along the ground as he chased the hunters.

The hunters began walking faster.

Titus followed them in pursuit. His skin was red from his feathers being plucked and large turkey bumps (a turkey would not have goose bumps) covered his exposed skin. He truly looked like a rabid, diseased turkey. Titus continued gobbling for help.

Then, to the hunters left Terrance appeared and to the right Tommy Boy came into view. Both turkeys had also been plucked and they too looked very sick.

Gobbling pleas came from the turkeys as they staggered closer to the hunters. Sensing danger, the hunters shouted to scare the creatures away. They shot their guns in the sky, but still the gobblers approached. Titus, Terrance, and Tommy Boy continued their routine - as they gobbled fear into the hunters eyes.

Finally the hunters had enough. They turned tail and ran away.

Titus, Terrance, and Tommy Boy were heroes. Old Tom, Teresa, and the rest of the flock rushed around the brave volunteers. Coats had been made from the plucked feathers of the heroes. Old Tom put the first coat on little Titus. Timmy and Thelma gave cloaks to Terrance and Tommy Boy too. The flock gathered around the heroes as they celebrated.

Proudly Old Tom proclaimed a victory, but the victory was short lived.

On the very next day scouts once again gobbled the alarm. Humans were approaching again. Old Tom and Teresa joined the scouts to spy on the intruders.

The humans were not carrying guns, but instead they had a big hammer and sign. Stopping along the path they pounded a sign into the ground, then turned and left the woods quickly.

When the way was clear, the turkeys went to read the sign. Tom read aloud, 'Danger. Turkeys in this Forest have been Reported as Diseased. DO NOT ENTER the Area or Remove any Turkeys from the Area. Danger.'

Old Tom smiled as only a real turkey can.

The flock rejoiced. They weren't diseased, they were just turkeys.

The Old tom and the flock lived happily ever after in the forest protected by the ‘Danger’ sign.

The hunters also lived happily ever after, but each year they told their story, to all that would listen. They would never eat turkey again, instead they began to favor the taste of Tofurkey (tofu seasoned to taste like turkey) instead.

Gobble, gobble, gobble.