Metro to Mountain Journal

Last Sunday when we visited the Little Harpeth River Picnic Area, we were amazed by all the picnickers. Not only were there a lot of picnickers, but the picnickers had style. Gone are the days of spreading a blanket on the ground and eating a simple sandwich and chips, these folks were eating well.

In observing the picnics in progress, there was one prevailing trend - bigger is better. Not only do the picnic organizers have to get people to attend the gathering, but they have to wow them into thinking it is the best picnic ever.

So here's a humorous look at Bigger is Better Picnicking...

10 - Organizer or Host - The organizer is the key to the picnic's success. They have to be able to contact all of the people and sell the idea of having a really big picnic.

09 - Location - You have to find a location that is large enough to hold such of an event. The location has to have facilities to host your picnic as well as others. What good would it do you to have a really big picnic, if no one else sees it? You want company. You need other picnickers in the area to see your event with envy. By the way, we are good at envious looks - especially when food is involved - and may be available for hire, as onlookers, on special occasions.

08 - Vehicles - At every picnic site, there has to be motor vehicles. The picnic site needs an area to park the vehicles. The special autos from the pool of vehicles would require a more prominent location to be on display for everyone to see. The owners would (of course) have a polishing rag or two, to shine the finish while talking to the others. The displayed vehicles would have to be really big, really fast, or really expensive.

07 - Insect Repellent - The host needs to help make the guests as comfortable as possible. Picnics are outside events and the guests need bug protection. Some might bring various repellents, but it is best for the organizer to have a few bottles ready. Remember to provide choices in protection. Some folks like the xxx Jungle Juice for maximum protection while others enjoy the Skin So Soft variety. The bigger the selection the better the protection.

06 - Coolers - Most picnics are in warmer weather and the guests will need something to drink. The really big marine coolers are the best. They have room for hundreds of drinks. Passersby will be jealous especially if you can round up several large coolers. If you don't have any drinks to go in the coolers, they can still be used as seats.

Don't throw the plastic bottles and cans in the trash, instead collect them for recycling.

05 - Games - The children at the party will need something to do while the grown-ups talk. A few balls to kick or throw seem to meet most needs. Of course if the kids are having too much fun, the adults will want to play also. Remember the game has to be bigger and better. Cheerleaders, whistles, and even a few vuvuzelas will definitely up the ante.

04 - Furniture - When the games are over, everyone will need a place to sit down. Some picnic areas only have the wooden picnic tables. the wooden benches are uncomfortable and can only be used for short periods of time. The more furniture at the site, the better. The organizer should remind attendees to bring their own chair of choice, but for special members who are attending it would be appropriate to provide them with a special chair such as a large lounge chair. Special tip - have other chairs sitting out and folks will think that you have even more friends in attendance - they are just away from the picnic and the seat is only momentarily empty.

03 - Tailgating Grill - You need a big grill for a big crowd. The bigger the grill the more versatile the menu can be. Don't limit yourself to a small Hibachi grill that only has enough room for a few hot dogs.

02 - Food - A big picnic needs big food, that also smells good. You want people to walk or drive by smelling the magical aromas of the grill. Roasting a pig might be a suitable fare, but few can disagree with the smell from a well grilled hamburger. Noses will be turning your way for sure.

01 - Noise - The bigger the picnic, the more noise that is required. Loud voiced picnickers spread the fun to all that can hear. To make the group talk even louder, play music loud, really loudly. A special amp, speaker system, and generator (if power is not supplied) would be needed for a proper, big sound. The noise of the party, much like the aroma of the food is a siren that says 'look at us we are having fun, big fun. We are big picnickers.' And the Host, smiles.

: - )

It was great seeing all of the picnickers having fun, big fun.

Happy Big Picnic trails